March 2012
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
February 2012
3 tags
“My hands, they’re strong, but my knees were far too weak.
To stand in...”
– Set Fire to the Rain, Adele
1 tag
Red wine, cheap perfume, and a filthy pout.:... →
scheibeshesamonster:
I see this all of the time. No. It’s not easy, it definitely takes a lot of tries to get it right. Complaining about it every time it doesn’t work out isn’t going to change anything. Judging all women or men because you keep picking the wrong people isn’t cool.
I know people are bitter. But…
6 tags
Reb+Vodka: A girlfriend wouldn't have prevented... →
fuckyeahrebandvodka:
For all the ridiculous fangirls on here who believe that a girlfriend would have stopped either Eric or Dylan, you guys are so sorely mistaken. You would have never stopped him. Eric had went out with a girl whom he considered ‘serious girlfriend potential’ before the massacre; she came to his…
Where to begin with this..
First that such fangirls exist. Never would...
“Did you know that the word ‘trauma’ comes from the Greek for ‘wound’? Hm? And...”
– Dr. Jeremiah Naehring [Shutter Island] (via thegreatestlie)
“President Thomas J. Whitmore: What do you want us to do?
Captured Alien: Die....”
– President Thomas J. Whitmore - Captured Alien
Independence Day
(via yeahmoviequotes)
7 tags
Why Does America Lead the World in School...
The possible factors include failure by classmates, parents and school officials to see the warning signs; bullying and revenge; serious mental illness; violent role models; drugs; access to guns, and a culture that condones extremism.
America has its share of these factors, but which are significant and which are more prevalent here than across the Atlantic?
Warning signs
Students do not...
Are Parents to Blame for School Shootings? →
4 tags
“Until Someone Loves You, I’ll Keep You Safe.”
– That’s Okay, The Hush Sound
1 tag
Any Vegetarian meal suggestions?
2 tags
AMAZING CAKES →
8 tags
“Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man, living in...”
– George Carlin (via makesmyheadspin)
3 tags
“Dylan: “Hey mom. Gotta go. It’s about a half an hour before our little judgment...”
– April 20th, 1999 tape - roughly 30 minutes before The Columbine Massacre
http://ramirezdahmerbundy.tumblr.com
2 tags
5 tags
Life Lessons from Dexter
Trust No-one
No one is who you think they are
No one is who they think they are
We don’t want to know who people really are
We don’t want to know who we really are
Always carry lots of plastic wrapping
